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SwEeTxPiNaYxGuRl
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Name: Debbie
Country: United States
State: California
Gender: Female
Interests: GOD,Music,Books,Clothes,Fashion,Surfing the net,Singing,Dancing,Acting,Writing,Playing volleyball and basketball,Playing darts,etc,etc
Expertise: reading and spelling,cooking and baking
Occupation: Student
Industry: Music
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  callmedebdeb
Member Since:
8/12/2004
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Please understand that. . .
I just want to change.
I'm desiring for that change.
I don't want to be this way anymore.
I really have to change for GOOD.
I don't like people judging me.
I want to prove to EVERYONE that I'm still that girl, and I can do better.
I want to be me.
I don't like people telling me what to do.
I don't like my youth group to look at me lowly.
I am trying my best right now.
I believe this year is going to be better, even though I've been to so many
camps.
THIS YEAR WILL BE THE BEST.
I promise me, my friends, my pastor & GOD. and by the way, for the people that I accidentally forward the message to/ who read it. I'm sorry. You didn't have to see it. It's embarrassing. I'm truly honestly sorry. I have real compunction for writing it. I notice that this year, I gained and lost valuable things in my life. A lot of things in my life. It's probably a lesson for me. All of the struggles, circumstances that I went through. I just hope that I may never go through it again. As for the people who thought I was good, I still am. I'm just going through something. I hope people will stop discussing about it, and just drop it. I love all of you guys. I didn't mean to all disappoint you. I just can't find who my real friends are. In school. I know I already have friends, and they're PYROS. But I also need someone to share my life with at school. I don't know if it's just me, but did you guys ever felt like being back stabbed or talked about? and now you have a bad reputation because of that. I'm going to cry right now. I thought I changed already. My walk with the Lord was going strong, even after camp, all throughout this year, and it faded at April. I don't know what's happening to me? Or what's going on with me & my life? All the prophecies that was prophesied over me this year vanished and ruined because of me. I want that to change. I don't want be compromising. I don't want to be a hypocrite anymore. I just want to be hungry for God's word consistently. Hungry for HIM. I thought last year was the final camp that would change me forever. But no, I believe it takes camps, conferences, meetings, bible studies & TIME to change. It also takes time to be a worship leader, youth leader, and a cell leader. I totally understand that. Please, help me/ remind me every time I make a mistake. Keep guard of me like a sister/ brother in Christ. I think thats my message for you guys today. That's all I have to say for now. P.S. I broken off my friendship with Lisa today;]
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| Yeah, about my post the other day. Now, Iam having second thoughts of quitting drill team. I love what Im doing, its just hard to manage my schedule and other stuff coming in this school year. I really look up to people who have alot of extra curricular activities, and at the same time they maintain their grades. Its difficult for me. Thats not my thing. I have to focus on onw thing first. I guess, I can't hit two birds at the same time. Its almost the end of my freshman year, and I feel really crappy. iam confused. Iam scared. Honestly, I still dont know what to be, when I grow up. I don't know what path to take. As the school year ends, its getting more and more stressful each day. I hate that. I despise that feeling. In drill we've been practicing for our revue, which is our final event of the year. It makes me sad and it also makes me cry to see what I've learned this year, the friends that I've made, where Iam right now, the fun practices I had with my jv girls, the talks I had with the coaches, and Ms. Palmer. Everything seems to be haunting me in such a weird way. I will definitely miss all those gooooood timesss I had in drill. I don't know what to say for now.
Anyway, today was pretty good. it was friggin 90 degrees today. I got out early, beacuse its a collaboration day. [ like a banking day or a minnimum day ] I was thinking of going to WILSON, my former school, but I got lazy. So, I just walked home in this scorching weather. It reminded me of those competitons, that I went to. We would wear our dance shorts on those days. awwww. good timess. I was reminiscing today in school. I rememebered around this time last year, We were already practicing for our graduation song, and we were rehearsing for our pops concert. I miss 8th grade. Sometimes I wish I was still an 8th grader. But I don't wish for something like that anymore. Its just that 8th grade year was waaaaaaaaaaay easier than 9th grade. I really hate HIGHSCHOOL. I'd rather be home schooled to prevent drama, failure, stress, heartbrokeness, & many more. ECKKKK!!! I don't know, I just want to be educated, without going through the tough times. I don't want to end up like those hoboes, or bums on the streets. or those succesful people with their miserable lives. Whatever. I will choose to live the life that I want.
Sunday was greatttttt! We had a mission trip to WIN - OC, is named WIN-ARTESIA. The service was great. The people were pretty responsive. Their church grew. Zuriel is mad good on the drums. ALL GOOD NEWS. here comes the bad news. We were suppose to watch a hillsong concert, but we didn't have a ride, and no one wanted to watch: ( Instead we just hung out with the Cerritos keeds: ) It was uber fun. We chilled and listened to emo songs. Watched videos on youtube. Then we went to GUPPY's to get shaved ice. Goooood stuff<3 Everyone ate it. It was really good. I wish they had one here in Glendale. After that girl talk with Kuya Pao, ate, Maya, & Stephanie. It was funnn, but Iam not gonna explain the details anymore. lol. I finished the condensed milk. I got sick of it. My ate and Kuya JD were flirting the whole time. doot doot! lol. I think they would make a great couple. lol. Then after that we went home.
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| dannggggg. Its been years since I posted somethin on xanga. I felt I needed too. Oh WOW. Everything went by soo fassst. I miss summer of 06. Sooo manyyy goooood memories. Loved itt.
I just have a problem right now. You know when you really love something you will do everything just to get it, or get there? Well, I've been in drill team for a year now, and I love it. Its just that Iam going through a lot of stuff right now. My family is going through a lot of stuff. Dancing is my passion [ next to singing ]. I've been dancing since I was a little kid. Not professionally, but just dancing. Since, I joined drill, I have been better in dancing. Seriously. They teach us the basics in ballet, jazz, modern, prop etc. I've learned alot, and I've come a loong waay. I would hate to leave / quit drill because of personal matters. Ms. Palmer, the head teacher of drill team, talked to me recently. She told me, I really had a bad start in drill, which is true, because of my schedule. She also told me that I was holding back the team, because of my delayed payments. I wouldn't want to be a burden or a hindrance to the team. Of course, I want our team to be happy, and succesful. But I can't afford to stay in drill. I would also want to help my family, by not spending too much on school stuff. I would love to help save. Secondly, it conflicts with my schedule. It conflicts with choir and church. When we have festivals or special occasions, which is when we have nationals and competitions, it messes up, and I always end up going to drill. My choir teacher always yell at me, because of that. I 've been a part of drill team. I've created a great bond with them. Like you feel at home. I would miss that. Yesss, Iam saying goodbye to drill, and leaving my past there. Drill, would also make me feel bad. When I would go to youth practices instead of drill practices, tv show tapings, hang outs, special occasions [ in short miss drill events ], they would make me feel bad. In the beginning of the year,Ii also met a wonderful person. Arielle Barba. She WAS my bestfriend. I don't know what happened. We started drifting apart in one of the competitions. This girl took her away from me. She barely even know her, and she opens up to her like close buddies. I already warned Arielle, not to be friends with her, beacuse shes a bad friend. I know this beacause, I've been friends with her before. But she back stabs me, and says a lot of crapload. So, basically, I lost a bf in drill. She was my only true, good bf, I ever had inmy life. We had a lot of similarities, interests etc. Shes like a 2nd sister to me. But now, when I try to talk to her, its so awkward, I can't even last a minute. Like literally. I wouldn't look at her eyes when Im conversing with her. Thats how awkward it is. In Nationals, she was awarded MVP for military, beacause she's really good at it. Honestly, Im not even lying. I think that when her head started getting bigger. Then people talk to her now, just because of that. . Anyway, Im not trying to be mean or trying to blame it on drill, but since I joined drill, I lost everything I had. People's trust, time, best friend, & God. So yeah, its final. I'll just stick with choir. So, I'll have more time at home, at church, and my studies. That would make things easier for me. So loong drill team, mylife once, my passion once, my family once. I would never forget everyone.
good night everyone.
<333 debbie | | |
| - southern girlim here in the mall rite now......i went wid my aunt,bro and stef.....i ono if im going later....i don't even know if there's a biblestudy or what.....this week was aite....a lot of boring things happened....well...can't wait till school starts.....i miss camp sooo much.....im freakin bored....can't wait till sunday!!!!
later people....
debbie | | |
| WOW!!haven't blog for a long time.....hmmmmm...let me see....a lot of
interesting things happened for like the past days or
whatsoever.......like...
Saturday,June 4
We went to 6 flags with IAN(and family:tnx a lot Tito Jimmy!!!!that was
great except for Jasmine Trias),TACIO(NATEDAWG),KUYA JOSEPH,MY BRO,MY
SIS,KRISTY, AND HER SIS PAULINE.....THAT WAS SOOO FREAKIN FUN.....but i
only rode two rides=[....the revolution and viper......I did overcome
my fear......my fear of heights......I saw someone from
Gahr......I forgot her name,but I've seen her once....... yeah....that
day was tiring........
Sunday,communion sunday,June 5
The next day was youth sunday.......we did a
great job!!!!praise God!!then we went home and Ate Sabby came and
practiced her song wid my bro.....I like her song it was good!!!then
after that I went to the mall with my mom....I bought a pair of jeans
and a shirt.Then we came home and they practiced again.......then the
other Tinsays came.....they ate dinner with us.....first they came here
to cut my sister's hair.......but in the end everyone had a haircut
from Ate Sabby.......I LOVE YOU ATE SABBY!!!!I REALLY LIKE MY
BANGS!!!THANKS!!!my sister has bangs,i do too,lil pauline too a,d
kristy trimmed her hair and so as Tita Marlyn.....we like our new
hairdo....thanks to the Tinsays!!!!....finally....school is going to
end......not sure if Im going to camp.....=[....hope I do
come......today was pretty good....a lot of school work and
stuff........and yah.....that's all for today
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